Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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