I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
