addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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