Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize