shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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