dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
