I accidentally burped into my bong.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize