I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
