your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
