Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
