I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Sober January is a disaster.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
