hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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