Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
