Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize