she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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