You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
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after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
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These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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