OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
