All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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