is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
