ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
