Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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