i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
