You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
