Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
