All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
