Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
