help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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