It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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