You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
