Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
