if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
