YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
