if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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