I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
