Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
and you fell through a lawn chair
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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