no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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