what day is it and did you see me today?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
