names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
