didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
