I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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