Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
