Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
