Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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