I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
