Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
