I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
