you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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