I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you traded sex for a burrito?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
