I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize