She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
