i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You were trust falling into bushes
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
