I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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