just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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