i would punch a child for taco bell
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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