is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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