you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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