not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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