At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
