we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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