arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
