I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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