it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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