I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
